June 22, 2020

Motherhood at a Glance: The Quality and Spirit of Grace

I'm so excited for this week's feature writer, the sweetest Amber Hurley! She is currently in New Jersey with her husband and their two daughters, ages two and four. Amber is a stay-at-home-mama and a full time blogger! She absolutely loves what she does and is always striving to do the best she can to be the best version of herself! 

Amber's message today is all about cultivating the ability to give yourself grace and avoiding the "perfectionist" mindset! The simplicity in today's message provides a perfect opportunity for us to remember the bases and to create a strong foundation in our motherhood!

I used to be such a perfectionist and always so critical of myself. I felt that I had to be organized all the time and had to have everything together 24/7! I would overthink everything and make a huge deal out of things that were really NOTHING! Being a mom to 2 toddlers had me going crazy at one point and I was doing it to my own self. I was stressing my own self out and causing unnecessary worry. I had to cultivate the quality and spirit of GRACE! This strength is important in motherhood because you are doing the very best you can, and then you don’t have to be perfect all the time! You don’t have to have your crap together all the time! I’ve seen this saying so many times: Your kids don’t need a perfect mom, they need a HAPPY one. No matter how unorganized or how far on the hot mess express you think you are, those little amazing humans you are raising don’t think that at all. When they see you, when they look up at you, all they see is a mom who cares and loves them more than anything! They depend on us for that LOVE, not for perfection! 

This strength helps me be a better mom because instead of me yelling all the time at my kids due to me being edgy and running around like a chicken with no head, I’m able to be calmer and just RELAX! Nothing is that serious where I need to be going crazy and taking it out on them, or even my Husband for that matter. It helps my children because my 4 year old is not constantly asking me, “Mommy are you happy now?” I would feel so bad when she would ask me that because she knew when I was not happy and when I was edgy and stressed. That’s not good for our kids to see at all! So I needed to change that and again, cultivate the strength of grace so that I could thrive better within my household. 

Some things that I have done, and my fellow mamas can do as well is get some SELF-CARE! Don’t forget about YOU! So from the simplest things like doing a face mask and having some wine, to going to the spa and getting a mani pedi, TAKE CARE OF YOU! It’s okay if you don’t feel like playing with the kids at the moment if you’re tired and your back is killing you. It’s okay if you don’t make those fancy chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast and give your kids waffle cereal out of the box for them to eat from because you didn’t get enough sleep that night. Give yourself some GRACE. It’s okay to leave the kids with your significant other for a while and get out of the house by yourself and get in the car, roll down the windows and blast your music and rock out! 

You cannot serve from an empty glass. However, don’t feel pressured to be at full capacity ALL THE TIME! 

Give yourself grace! What do I mean by that? It means give yourself the kindness that you DESERVE! Are you a perfectionist all the time? Are you often very hard on yourself when trying to juggle motherhood along with everything else? Are you just winging everything besides your eyeliner and still don’t know what you’re doing? It’s OKAY! 

What also helps me is the tremendous support of my Husband. I couldn’t do this without him. He often takes a load off of my shoulder and I couldn’t be more grateful. So to my fellow mamas, please lean on your partner and don’t be afraid to ask for help. That’s what they’re there for! If you unfortunately are a single mom, please call out for help from your friends, parents, etc. YOU have to make sure YOU are OKAY! 

So never feel that you’re inadequate. You’re not going to do everything right, and you’re not going to be perfect. Your house will be a mess, you’re going to look like hell, but it can wait. The dishes can wait, the house can wait, and frozen meals are okay! Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are a MOM and you are KILLING IT! Remember, “there will be so many times when you feel like you’ve failed, but in the eyes, heart, and mind of your child, you are SUPERMOM!” – Stephanie Precourt 

The cutest fam!! Thank you so much to Amber for sharing your strength in motherhood and giving us a little peek into her family. I love simplicity in her message and the reminder of how important it is to exercise grace, especially as a mama!

As a quick recap, her three takeaways are:

Exercise self care, whatever that may look like for you

Give yourself grace and remember your feelings are valid

Accept support and don't be afraid to ask for help

You can find Amber on instagram at: 
and on her blog:

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