February 1, 2018

Birth Story: Nova Violet

Being thirty-nine weeks pregnant tends to make you a little insane. At least in my case. I heard myself saying "get this baby out of me" every night to Ryan as I rolled out of bed he pushed me out of bed to go to the bathroom for the forty-seventh time that day. I loved this itty-bitty human inside of me but I was beyond ready to meet her! I was worried about being induced or needing a C-section so we tried everything we could to naturally induce labor (with the okay from my midwives). 

Friday afternoon, after cleaning and playing with the puppy, I finally sat down on the couch to indulge in some HGTV. I was rubbing my belly, talking to baby when I realized I couldn’t remember the last time she’d moved around. Was it last night or yesterday morning? I called a friend who works in the NICU to ask her advice. “Lauren, you need to go to the ER immediately.” My heart sunk. I’m in a panic. All I remember was my heart pounding and my fingers covered in mascara after wiping the tears that just would not stop flowing. Ryan rushed home and drove me to the nearest emergency room. 

I found myself losing the ability to breathe. I didn’t want to have to explain one more time that I hadn’t felt fetal movement in 24 hrs. Each time it hurt worse. I started to feel lightheaded and see stars. I was pushed back to a room. It was cold and uninviting. Maybe under different circumstances it would have just been a regular hospital room. Ryan and I didn’t take our eyes off each other while they put the monitors around my belly. He held my hand and gave me a look that brought so much calm to my aching heart. Even then, those terrifying thoughts were rolling around in my head. I can’t lose this baby. I refuse. The nurse watches the monitor closely. She turned up the volume so I could hear for myself. Then the words finally came: “honey, she’s okay”. The relief we felt was intense. She is okay. She’s healthy. That’s all that matters. 

For several weeks leading up to this, I had been experiencing high blood pressure. Turns out, it was more serious than my midwives led on which meant I needed to be induced. There were so many times I shared that fear with Ryan and here we were - it was coming true. All that mattered was that my baby was healthy. She’s okay. 

That next morning, we packed our bags, grabbed our new pup and drove forty minutes to my parents home. Longest forty minutes of my life. The hospital I planned to deliver was ten minutes from their home. What a blessing. They quickly admitted me. I was dilated to a zero. ZERO?! This meant a long night. Maybe two. They started me on Oxytocin which did nothing. The doctor inserted Prostaglandins. A few hours and many episodes of Cake Boss later, it was time. About five o’clock Sunday morning, I was experiencing some of the worst pain I have ever felt. It’s said over and over again but labor is no joke! There is nothing like it. 

“An epidural sounds real nice right about now” I told my nurse as politely as I could. Within the hour, I had the epidural and I could breathe again. For a long time, I planned and prepared to go all natural. All that changed when I was induced. Being induced means nothing is natural. I was able to rest for about an hour when I woke up to a gross feeling. "Ryan! Wake up! I'm pretty sure my water broke!" He took one look with his sleepy eyes and was done! He does not do well in this department ;) Sure enough, it had and we discovered I dilated from a one to a ten within two hours. "No wonder you were hurting so bad!" Three minutes and four pushes later, little miss no-name was in my arms! 

We're told we cannot achieve perfection in this life but there she was: pure perfection. She looked just like Ryan with my red hair. Nova Violet sounded perfect and suited her so well. I could not take my eyes off of her. The next day and a half we experienced more scares with our girl. She needed to overcome a small case of Jaundice. During our first night with her, she stopped breathing. I felt completely helpless. We called for the nurses. Eight-or-so nurses flooded our room helping our little baby to breathe. That intense feeling of relief washed over me again. Unfortunately, it was taken away when the same thing happened only two hours later. That little button on my postpartum bed became my best friend.

After all the drama, we were able to enjoy our little girl even more. I never really knew the joys of motherhood until she was placed in my arms. Even though they were stressful, I will be forever grateful for those days leading up to Miss Nova's birth.

No comments: